Friday, September 14, 2007

One of my favorite things about working in an academic lab is that we're all buddies, we're all in the same stage of life, even when someone is older, is married and/or has children. It's still school and everyone sees it that way.

Of course, this also makes for really awkward moments, including a labmate asking me if I wanted to go pick up women with him. He's very much "you're a lesbian? That's so cool." It is cool, but don't be gross about it.

I assured him that the women I'm attracted to are likely very different from the women he's attracted to.

I've also been in situations where I told someone that I thought a woman was attractive and the person I was with insisted that I needed to hit on her. I, personally, see a huge difference between finding someone attractive and actually being attracted to her. I can appreciate it when there is a good-looking person, of any gender, standing in front of me. It doesn't mean that I'm attracted to them.

When I see someone I'm attracted to, I can feel a deep pull in my navel and my mouth goes cotton dry. I am not slick when I'm attracted to someone -- I feel like a bit of a bumbling idiot. I did not want my labmate to see that part of me. Even though we're buddies, I still see a line of professionalism that I don't think many do. I am friends with a few of the people in the department, but not everyone needs to see that very real, raw part of me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I totally understand what you mean. One of my fav ex's was finishing up her PhD in genetics when I was with her (I stick it out the whole 5 years with her!) and her labmates ranged from what you describe to the old women to young frat boys. I never knew what to expect. It's always best to not go out with people from the lab. Sorry you had that happen...

k. terumi shorb said...

just stoppin' by! hey there.